What I Needed the Most

I feel like everything in my life right now is pointing to one thing, I am worn out. It is a busy time of year for a farming family, the harvest is in and the workers are few. I have two busy toddlers and a new baby to take care of, a house to keep and bills that still need paid. Life is happening and I am trying to keep up with the pace but it is leaving me exhausted. This is not a new phenomenon, I keep telling myself that I can get through this. I am getting to do what I love every day, take care of my family, however I am finding it is leaving me drained. Why?

I discovered the root of my problem while I was spending a few moments before bed reading a book for a group I am part of. We are reading Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson and the portion we were discussing was exactly what I needed the most right now. I needed to make time to refresh my soul.

Sometimes as a mother I feel like I can pour myself out continually, day after day and see very few breaks. I start to run out of time, motivation, strength and purpose. I start putting things on the back burner in order to get by day to day. I don't know about you but most of the stuff that gets put off is personal time and activities.

At first this sacrifice feels good. Putting family and your children first is the right thing to do so inevitably it keeps happening. Something else starts happening too, patience doesn't last as long, energy starts to dwindle and the days seem very long and they all run together. I love my children and family but the smallest things start to drive me crazy. Why is this? Because my soul is drained and needs replenished.

An image for this is a large cup; if it is empty it needs to be filled before it can spill over.  You will not be able to bless those around you if you are not full yourself. For Christ to pour out of your very being you must be soaked through with His word and spirit. This doesn't occur by chance but through well invested, regular time in His presence. I had stopped spending part of my day studying Him, and meditating on His words and the end result was I was empty. I now make a habit to take little parts of my day and have a couple 10 minute mini devotions. I had taken it out of my schedule because I never felt like I could get a good 30-45 minuets in. Now I enjoy the pick-me-ups throughout the day.

I also remembered how soul filling music is for me. My children check my happiness meter by how much/what I am singing. So I started putting music on at lunch time so we could all enjoy it. Both of the older two love to make music and sing so I believe this fills their souls too.

Closely related to that is dance. If you have never been a dancer or danced before this probably will not mean much to you. There is nothing quite the same as hearing a beautiful piece of music and dancing with all you have in you. David danced before the Lord and became a fool in the eyes of his wife but he told her,"I will become even more undignified than this!" He understood the fullness of the dance. Once you feel that, a part of you will always long to dance. I still have not found a good way to express this with 3 little ones but I soon hope to again.

It is important in our busy lives that we make time to fill ourselves up with Christ. Weather it is in the beauty of nature, the majesty of song, the joy of dance, the peace of His presence, artistry of a lovingly prepared meal, or the gifting of skillful hands. Each person is different and communicates and feels differently.  If you take time to evaluate yourself you will know what fills your soul and lifts your spirit. When life dries you up and leaves you feeling empty what you may need the most is to give yourself permission to enjoy the life God has blessed you with.

                                                              The Farmer in the Dell